The only reason is that I kept thinking of the sentence:
"I HATE FREE LOADERS LIKE YOU, IMBECILE. SICKENING FAT BITCH."
Becos of this sentence,it made me down the whole day.
Becos of this sentence ,it made me rude to my surrounding people today.I'm truly sorry!!
Becos of this sentence,it made me do a thorough reflection on myself.
Becos of this sentence i annoyed my sister by asked her repeatedly:
"AM I A FREELOADER?"
"AM I FAT?"
"AM I A BITCH?" (This is the 1st time in my entire life that this eyesore word used on me)
Is it my fault?Am i the only one in wrong?Is it?
Was she referring to someone else ?Or was she really referring to me?
Before that i kept telling myseif she was saying someone else...
After Clara told me what the "SHE" said : "....she better talk..."
It make me feel that my instinct was correct that i am the one she was referring to...
I am a freeloader?Perhaps? Probably true... :(
I would like to ask her ,but it will not work.
My sis told me just to shoot back.../but this will make the situation more complex...
I should not join in to the shooting game!!PEACE!
I wanted to remove her away from my FB but after giving a second thought,why should i do that?
Deleting her away from my list doesn't mean i can forget what she have done...;)
Others always say :
the wound will be healed after a long time,however it leaves scar
the trouble will be gone after a sleep,however the trouble still exists
the conflict will be resolved after sitting down to voice out their disatisfaction,however the relation will not be the same as before
After forgiving someone who have hurt you before,what he/she done to u will forever be in your memories.
Is there a DELETE button in life to delete all those unhappiness,Leaving me with only happy memories...??
I have to face reality!!Reality are harsh!!Everyone have to face it still:)
This incident is my second time in this year I have cried over...Perhaps u may think that it is nothing,i should get over it and ignore it too..
Speaking is much easier than action!
Though i try to ignore ,but in the end my heart will tell me that i am bothered..
It is impossible for me to lie to myself...
If i want to endure,how long can I withstand??
If i want to say out grievance,will it help me or should i bottle up my feelings?
Truthfully, ever since I studied in TP i didn't enjoy my studies there as much as in Punggol Sec...
Smiles are getting lesser and lesser,but thanks to some kind souls (CLARA'S CLIQUE & YI LIN'S CLIQUE)
who brighten up my day with their concern..
In TP ,I am forced to know all kinds of people.There are good ones,not so-bad ones,bad ones.
It tells me : GROW UP!! FACE REALITY!!
Should I have chosen JC rather than Poly?I am now wonder if I have made a wrong choice?Will it be much more different?
I know some people will have a impression of me being a 怪胎 because i am mostly alone,doing things alone...
U don't have to sympathize me ..I am initially not like this..I HATE THE CURRENT ME TOO!!
If I have the chance to choose i will definitely don't want myself to be in this type of situation.
I really have no idea to be friends with who..
It is because i feel like the odd one because we don't have the topic to talk about..
I really envy those who made close and trustworthy friends in poly where they share all their secrets with one another...it is rare !
CHERISH IT WELL!! It is difficult to come by this type of frienship!!
Really hope it can happen on me!!
However i will focus on studying getting to a university!!
My mum say friends in poly are not as true as sec friends,but still i believe there are still true friends i can make in poly!!
My sis fall out with her sec friends because of them backstabbing...it makes her upset as their 4 years of freindship is over...
However,she depends on herself. One point I should really learn from her.
Though sometimes i really hated her,but we are sisters ,so overnight and we are back on good terms again.
Although she is sometimes stingy,a fishmonger but THE FACT is that i still LOVE her!!
I shared all my secret with her, I am not afraid of her letting the cat of of the sack...THANKS SIS!!
I am also grateful I still have true friends in my life ! Grace,Wendy,Zi Xian.
We went through thick and thin together!
We quarelled before,dislike one another before, but because of those times it makes our friendship more firm!!:)
All of u are always there to lend me a hearing ear to hear me pour out my troubles..really thanks!!(X10000000000):)
All of u brought me smile and happy memories which will accompany throughout my life!!
Do U believe as i'm typing this post my eyes are watery? :)
Did u notice there are no "hahas" in this post? Becos I am really serious and i am pouring all those bothering things all at one time!!
Though writing out my feeling in this post doesn't make me feel any better,but this is a way i can express myself.
I don't want my parents to know,I don't want them to worry about me!!:)
That time i cried becos of some matter regarding my boss,my mum was worried as i locked myself in my room and cried under my blanket..
I did not tell anyone that becos i believe i can get over it myself! And yes !I really got over it!!;)
So I believe this time i can too!!
Forgive is a smile in exchange for others' happiness.Hatred is a person's insist that makes other suffer.
Believe it! Anymore "shooting" will only bring more hurt!! Should let it go!!But i think it will not happen since u insist!
U can continue but soon u will be tired of it and u will be the one regretting it!!:)PEACE IS EVERYTHING!!
U want to have 2 face let it be..it is not my problem anyway!!But u will not go any further in your life with this!:)
LILLIAN LOVE PEACE!
U said if others have the (ballz) to bitch about you they should say right in your face but u are doing the same isn't it?
U want to say bad about me just say it in my face..
U don't have to post it everywhere BECOS it only seems to me that u have no guts!!:))))
After this post, U WILL FOREVER NOT BE MENTIONED IN MY BLOG!! CROSS MY HEART!! :)
This post is long!!Now then i realised!!
Tomorrow accompanying my parents to medical check-up have to wake up early and after that settle at dad company until his work end!!
ALL Homework be DONE 2moro!!Yeah!!JYJY!:))
Wordsihaveneversaid has been my official personal blogging site since 2008. Basically, I blog about everything that had changed & made an impact in my life! My inner thoughts . ♫~♫♫~~ 
